To make really important decisions with real peace of mind you need to have clarity.
So exactly, what is Clarity? Clarity is a place where there is no resistance, no contradiction, no drama, sure-footedness, knowing what to do…..nothing is holding you back.
Today I will be sharing with you the 7 Step Clarity Process that I take my clients through so you too will be able to apply these steps to your important decisions.
I created the 7-Step Clarity Process by distilling the work I had done with hundreds of clients around helping them achieve some real clarity around crossroad type and many other decisions in their business, career or life. Crossroad type decisions are decisions that affect all area of your life at the same time.
Can you achieve total clarity? As life is complicated and you are complicated I can’t guarantee 100% clarity with this process. However, I can guarantee that after you have worked through these steps you will be closer to making important decisions and reaching meaningful goals… based on who you really are and what you really want….then you were before you started.
Here are the steps :
Step 1 – Clarify your values
Unless you know your core values it is hard to make meaningful decisions that will bring you real satisfaction, happiness or joy long-term. Decisions or goals not based on your core values will have very short-lived rewards. Also, your core values are like the operating system on your computer. They run in the background and effect some of your behaviors and habits. Sometimes in a good way, but they can also cause you to knee-jerk into emotions or actions (or lack of actions) that are not working for you.
Step 2- Let go of all the “shoulds” that aren’t working for you
We are influenced by so much around us we lose sight of what we really want. You chose a profession that is about serving others. In your education and work training, you were told what to do, what works here and what is expected of you to get your designation or the next position. People in your life from parents, teachers, spouse, family, friends, and colleagues all had opinions about how they want you to be. Society and even your profession make you feel like you have to keep achieving what their definition of success is. This creates a list of “shoulds” in your life that can almost paralyze you for making good decisions for yourself.
Step 3 – Assess your strengths, needs and wants
As a professional, you are good at many things. Just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should. You have natural talents and abilities that are different than anyone else. You are more energized and fulfilled when you work and live using those talents and abilities and stop doing those things that you don’t love to do and drain your energy. What would it feel like to know what those strengths were, how you best operated or what you were really afraid of? You also have a unique set of needs and wants that are purely yours. What would it be like to explore those needs and wants with someone that was both objective and non-judgemental? Why? To help you sort them out as many can be conflicting. And without tying them back to what you value, they can create empty rewards.
Step 4 – Remove distractions and the noise
When you don’t make decisions about where you are going you tend to leave many avenues open….just in case. Keeping so many paths of interest open creates an overwhelm of information, people and commitments to juggle. Once you get clear on your values, what shoulds you can drop and your strengths, needs and wants you can start to narrow the number of path options and noise they all create. You will also be asked to list everything you are tolerating. Tolerating takes a tremendous amount of energy. What if you eliminated the top 3 energy drainers from your list, how much more time would you have available. You probably have learned that you cannot really manage time. I will encourage you to drop time management and focus on energy management.
Step 5 – Institute new behaviors and habits
Remember that whatever you decide and where ever you go, YOU will continue to be the common denominator. Do you suffer from forms of perfectionism, procrastination, negative thoughts and emotions, self-doubt, worry, people pleasing, take things personally, overwhelm, feeling behind or less than. Changing your circumstances will not make these go away. So this is why this is a key step in the process….and what my clients refer to in the testimonials as the tools I teach them. This is also the step that can take months to implement depending on how attached you are to your limitations. But this is the step that has the longest lasting effects on your life going forward and is the key to your happiness and success. Over 50% of my clients have decided to stay in a circumstance once they have the skills to flourish in that environment.
Step 6- Take action and gather data
Without experimentation, you can never really know what change is possible. While you are in your current environment you will be asked to let go of what’s not working, try out new behaviors and habits, retrain people how to deal with you, take your power back and then assess what is working and what is not. All the time also gathering data on the information you need to make a decision or decisions. Lots of small actions are required. Then review, assessment, and next action determined.
Step 7 – You decide with real peace of mind
After you have done the research, test out theories, made changes in your behavior and habits and have seen what is possible….. only then do you decide what direction to take. If you are like most professionals you want to know that you have done everything you can to make a good decision